i have someone that i like.. everyone knows dat.. my friends know who the guy is.. and he has someone he likes as well.. he's a friend of mine.. we are js friends.. no feeling or wat so ever.. supporting each other.. have fun together.. normal friends.. js like me and the rest of my friends..
but I DON'T LIKE IT when he talks about the girl he likes.. i hate it.. elvin said i'm js being jealous.. but, i dont have any feeling towards him.. so, what the freaking hell is that??? freaking hell.. seriously freaking hell..
then, i dunnoe why, but i rarely talk about the guy i like wit him.. a couple of times only.. but, i talk about the guy i like almost every single minute with my other friends... it's because i feel like he wont bother to listen to watever story i tell about the guy i like.. because he doesnt comment alot when i talk about him!! so i guess, i think it's just useless to talk about the guy i like wit him..
or maybe the freaking problem is js ME!! i'm such a drama creator.. everything is a stupid freaking drama for me.. bleh.. serious shit.. i dunnoe wat's wrong.. and i always in this kind of feeling down thingy lately.. well, not lately, for the past i-dunnoe-maybe-around two months!!
so, somebody please do explain this to me!!!
Tuesday, October 30, 2007
Tuesday, October 16, 2007
Eid Mubarak
Dont blame me! I dun have internet yet in my new rented house.. i cant update my blog regularly. lots of things happened.. and i do not knw wat to say.. well, my bday js passed.. quite a day i must say.. a bit predictable, but yet still somehow really surprising..
found a new gossip partner.. after megah left, i really actually have no one to share secret with.. but then, believe it or not, the person is Milton!! that stupid freaking cacing!! hahahaha.. not really the kind of friend i love to work together with, but more than enough to be the kind of friend to share story with..
eid something i really like to say here.. i was supposed to run for an election for sa, but then i have a family emergency matters.. i was pissed like hell.. hate every minute i spend before raya.. hate myself for always surrender to faith.. hate the fact that i never been able to do what i like to do best..
taking management studies rather than computer design for starter.. again, surrender to something called family decision.. walking away from my friends rather than keep in touch with them and visit them regularly for something called family restriction.. breaking up with my ex for something called family orientation.. and now, backing up from sa election for something called family emergency..
can u imagine how i feel?? it feels freaking awful.. especially each time i remember all these.. damn.. dat's all i can say.. but then, eid really make me start to look the positive side of it.. my grandmoms, both the one in jakarta and the one in tebing tinggi, for the first time, cried.. cried during the "minal aidin" moment.. the both saying something similar.. and for the first time i feel glad dat i did what i did, regardless whether i like it or not..
"you are the oldest.. and u will always be the oldest.. u r more open minded than the rest.. although u r stubborn and rebellious, u still always make sure that family comes first.. i surely cant ask more than that.. i'm old.. i wont be around in the future.. u r my hope to keep this family together.. u know every detail of love, hate, and dispute in this family.. i cant say anything else but thank you for always being there for us.."
"i know i never try to get closer to u.. i never even try to share stories with you or be there for u.. even so, u never failed me.. i know u failed ur dad's expectation a number of times.. but u never failed me.. u r more than wat i want my grandkid to be.. u r not the oldest, but u act like one.. u r my only hope to help ur cousins.. u know how much abang cant be trusted to lead the rest.. i dunnoe u well.. i dunnoe how u think.. and i dun even sure whether u love me.. but then, it really means alot to be that u r here.. although i know u gave up something for this matters.. js thank you.."
so, who can hold their tears when they hear these??? damn.. i feel bad for hating the two of them, for making me backing up from the election.. i do love you, grandmoms..
found a new gossip partner.. after megah left, i really actually have no one to share secret with.. but then, believe it or not, the person is Milton!! that stupid freaking cacing!! hahahaha.. not really the kind of friend i love to work together with, but more than enough to be the kind of friend to share story with..
eid something i really like to say here.. i was supposed to run for an election for sa, but then i have a family emergency matters.. i was pissed like hell.. hate every minute i spend before raya.. hate myself for always surrender to faith.. hate the fact that i never been able to do what i like to do best..
taking management studies rather than computer design for starter.. again, surrender to something called family decision.. walking away from my friends rather than keep in touch with them and visit them regularly for something called family restriction.. breaking up with my ex for something called family orientation.. and now, backing up from sa election for something called family emergency..
can u imagine how i feel?? it feels freaking awful.. especially each time i remember all these.. damn.. dat's all i can say.. but then, eid really make me start to look the positive side of it.. my grandmoms, both the one in jakarta and the one in tebing tinggi, for the first time, cried.. cried during the "minal aidin" moment.. the both saying something similar.. and for the first time i feel glad dat i did what i did, regardless whether i like it or not..
"you are the oldest.. and u will always be the oldest.. u r more open minded than the rest.. although u r stubborn and rebellious, u still always make sure that family comes first.. i surely cant ask more than that.. i'm old.. i wont be around in the future.. u r my hope to keep this family together.. u know every detail of love, hate, and dispute in this family.. i cant say anything else but thank you for always being there for us.."
Alina Anthon Hudaya
"i know i never try to get closer to u.. i never even try to share stories with you or be there for u.. even so, u never failed me.. i know u failed ur dad's expectation a number of times.. but u never failed me.. u r more than wat i want my grandkid to be.. u r not the oldest, but u act like one.. u r my only hope to help ur cousins.. u know how much abang cant be trusted to lead the rest.. i dunnoe u well.. i dunnoe how u think.. and i dun even sure whether u love me.. but then, it really means alot to be that u r here.. although i know u gave up something for this matters.. js thank you.."
Tengku Alida
so, who can hold their tears when they hear these??? damn.. i feel bad for hating the two of them, for making me backing up from the election.. i do love you, grandmoms..
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