ok people.. i'm blogging again

i'm so sorryyyy!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! i know!! i havent blogged in like forever!!

ok.. first of all.. the first thing my mom said when she looked at me was, "u got fatter.." err.. ok.. i know.. sssstt!! dun remind me.. it's very obvious.. gosh people.. fine.. i'll try to lose weight.. satisfy??

emm.. i also decided to stop acting childish.. starting wit outfits.. totally change it.. well, being mature is maybe only an excuse to change my style.. i dunnoe.. i just found dat tshirts dunt suit me anymore.. i dunnoe why.. really.. it's like.. kiki, u r going to be 19.. and 20 next year.. act more like ur age!! well, i feel something like dat.. hahahaha..

i have a job for my summer break.. tutoring my two cousins.. english [i knw dat my english is js so so... but good enough to teach 6th graded kids].. and tutoring my sister maths.. i got A star for my o level extended maths.. so i'm qualified to teach her, ok?? hahaha.. she's only going to form 4 anyway.,. it shouldnt be dat hard..

ok then.. nothing more to write.. i promise i'll update more often..

QAB = Big Liar

scared to death.. that's wat i felt a day before my Quantitative Analysis for Business exam.. i may be good in maths, always get A in class test when i was doing my O Level.. got A+ for my Extended Maths during O Level.. CIMP?? gosh.. never got less than 75 for my Mathematics of Data Management..and i managed to get 81 for final.. in short, i luv maths to death!!!

but then, i dunnoe wat the hell is wrong wit me during university.. is it me that become lazier or it's actually the subject itself?? i just simply didnt know wat the hell is going on in class.. for the first six class, i found the class quite ok.. not bad, really.. then after dat, they switched lectuerer.. and guess who?? Dr. Ee!!! the freaking Business Finance Lecturer.. aaaarrggggggghhhhh!!!! wat the hell!!! it's a very small class, i must say.. only about 29 of us.. a small class, and she still managed to make us feel sleepy??

i was sort of TOO lazy to study for this module.. seriously.. LAZY TO THE MAX!! then.. two days before the exam, i decided to gamble on it.. i js studied the past year papers.. selected a few topics.. and concentrate on them only.. then, a night before.. i just so freaking freaked out!! it's maths paper, and i never felt not confidence at all for maths!!

then, on the day itself.. gosh.. i cant even describe how the hell i felt.. i sat there on the Great Hall.. looking at Dini that sat up front left.. Milton somewhere in front of me.. they look freaking ready.. "shoot!!".. that's all i can say..

but then.. the moment i turned the exam paper.. just a sec after that i giggled.. "BLEH!!!" that's exactly wat i feel inside.. the stupid freaking paper is like.. EASY!! the freaking formula sheet is so freaking useful and all.. i even actually can do 4 question instead of 3.. hahaha.. but, i'm not that jobless ok??

nw, i'm just hopping that my QAB result can push up my average result.. hehe..

exam

well.. exams.. still have three more to go.. i'm quite confidence that i can pass my CEP, MAD, and NVC.. still have PnO, QAB, and Business Finance..

i study much harder than last time... i really hope that it will pay off.. i dun want to get disappointed like last semester.. especially because i'll only get a car if i pass all my papers.. this is tough man.. it's between life and death [yeah rite!!]

the thing is that, i'm so scared that i'll fail my QAB and business finance.. it's js because one stupid freaking reason.. the lecturer that thought me is Dr. Ee.. the least wanted lecturer on your list.. her lameness and stupidness and not respectiveness of her really driving me crazy..

well, js wish me luck!!

happy bday, jia cheng!!!!!

uncleeee!!!!!!!!!!! happy birthday!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! u r 19!!! i'm officially d youngest one in the ERRR today.. hahaha!!! wow!! wat a nice bday present from our nottingham university business school for u.. MAD1 exam on ur bday!! hahahha.. good luck wit dat ya uncle!!!

hm.. let me think how to describe u.. uncle is only 19.. he's one of the youngest in the EERR.. however.. he acts as if he's the oldest.. dat's why we all call him uncle!!.. hehehehe.. he's good at drawing anime.. and he's an anime otaku!! he has a MyVi car.. and he's too lazy to drive it to campus!! wat a shame!!!!

ok, uncle.. i need to continue my MAD.. see u in the great hall..

and why should i ask more??

my mind is so fresh rit nw.. i wonder why, myself as well.. i'm moving on!! i mean!! i'm back!! the normal kiki is back!! it's not keeconk, that is childish and immature.. at least, i found kiki the parrot.. she's back!! somehow..

i'm currently listening to Ikhlas Tapi Jauh by V.E.. i luv this song.. i mean.. it makes me feel good inside.. its lyric sort of made me realise dat, yeah i like him and so what?? nothing to be ashamed of.. nothing to be hyper about.. nothing to miss like crazy.. it's just praising Allah SWT. for creating such a lovely person.. think of him makes me feel good.. seeing him makes my day.. talking to him makes me smile.. although we know each other, and cannot even be called as friends, dun u think Allah is so kind?? Allah still at least makes me feel good, makes my day, and makes me smile.. isnt it already a bless??? and why should i ask more??

i saw him two days ago.. nothing much.. he js passed by.. i even doubt that he saw me.. but, at the very least, seeing him makes my day.. at least, before stupid CEP exam ruined my day.. hahaha.. isnt it already a bless?? not everyone felt happy today.. not everyone smiled as he/she saw him passed by.. so, why should i ask more??

i start to know the real meaning of my name.. the real truth of the name that my parents gave me.. as an english word, Risky means dangerous.. but in the same time it means brave and never let go any opportunity.. as a name, Risky comes from Indonesian word, Rizky.. Rizky itself comes form Arabic word Rizq.. it means a bless or gift from Allah.. but i never thought of it on another term.. it can also mean, thanking Allah for every bless and gift.. Allah gives me so much already.. a nice name, lively family, loyal friends, and at the very least, him.. someone dat although i'm not close to, still able to make my day.. and why should i ask more??